Isn't this how it goes? You start a blog, blog dies. You start a blog, blog hybernates. You write in April, abbrakadabra
Josh and I were married! August 10th. Yes, on a Thursday. Is that random? No that's not the word, the words are "less expensive." I won't say "cheap" because we most certainly still paid for the "wedding sticker". Let me give one more sentance to the phrase, "wedding sticker", then I'll be done. Call up a reception site and tell them you would like to host a corporate event, your charge will be $300, call up same reception site and tell them you would like to host a wedding reception, your charge will be $3000. And oh how the prices climb from there. If there was ever sticker shock, I would say the word wedding has earned its sticker. (ok, that was 3 sentances, but I really am done now.)
If it weren't cliche and and lame to cash in on the success of someone's already brilliant and executed idea, I would be knocking down the door of Tom and Rita giving them little other reason then the FACTS that speak for themselves of why they should produce "My Big Fat Mormon Wedding." I have 6 married siblings, each sibling and their spouse averaging 3.3 children and several more on the way. That's just immediate family. This immediate family is scattered from sea to shining sea. Literally. I'm in Portland, OR, I have a sister in Williamsburg, VA, my parents are in Baton Rouge, LA, and all others are scattered in between. Given that this was an "offsite" wedding, there were hotels to find, rentals cars and rides to coordinate, 3 meals a day to prepare for 20 children, 15 adults...and a wedding to pull off on the side. Somewhere in the lingering future were the words "peace" and "quiet" but that kind of perspective is only realized hindsight. 35 immediate family members with 35 ranging personalities and temperments was only half the fun for the week of family and wedding bliss. The actual day itself to others with less of a sense of humor then me might call it an omen.
The ceremony was to start at 1p. At 1:45 we were finally ushered into the room where we would be married. The delay was due to a computer glitch. I still don't know what that was really all about, all I know was it was the first domino...of many. Initially, this wasn't a huge upset, we had allowed plenty of time for the floral arrangements, the cake, and the bouquets/boutonnières to be crafted between the ceremony and the reception at 6p. After the ceremony, family members went to the hotel to change, Josh and I stayed behind for a photoshoot at the Portland Temple where we were married, and everything still seemed to be going along smoothly (aside from the other minor hiccup where Josh accidently stepped on the bustle of my dress and ripped it). It was around 3p when family members hit the road for the short 20 minute drive into Oregon City...slooooow forward to 5:15p and finally the family started pulling into their destination. Traffic was record breakingly bad, like Seattle operating on one bridge during a snow storm - bad! There was 45 minutes to frost and decorate the 4 wedding cakes, de-leaf and thorn the buckets of flowers, arrange the 12 floral centerpieces, dress the 20 children AND take family photos prior to the arrival of guests. Josh and I had decided to take the back way into Oregon City, as we made our way, slowly but surely, we realized that we had left my bouquet at the temple, and had to back track to go get it. Once we finally made it to my brothers house, I had to very quickly touch-up my make-up and for the first time all day...finally go pee! After a quick 39 second touch-up and hustle out of the bathroom, one of my darling nephews looked at the train of my long white gown and asked "What's that?" After a whiff and sample, we quickly learned that the trane of my dress was covered in...poop. An animal or young child had an accident...it was too late, and too irrelevant to trace it's origin. It very was shortly after this that I allowed myself to look around and accept that this wedding, was falling apart. Guests were to show up at the reception site in 20 mins. My mother-in-law was patiently making careful frosting stokes on the FIRST of the 4 cakes, my brothers who were desperately recruited were hauling buckets of unmanicured flowers downstairs onto the deck to assemble the centerpieces themselves, kids of all ages, some dressed, some not, were running around the house - innocently unaware of any crisis, and there I was standing at the sink with my new handsome groom...as he scrubbed poop off my dress.
I'm going to stop there. I think that's sufficient for the tension of what we were up against on the biggest day of our lives. You ask anyone that finally made it to the reception by their own journey through traffic, and they'll tell you they didn't even notice that there was a mad scramble to throw it all together. In no time at all we we left the devil out of the details and we just had a wonderful time. Lots of hugs, "thank yous", introductions, laughs, pictures, kisses, and in two blinks the evening was over. I guess you could say the day was in sorts an omen, in quiet reflection on our way to the honeymooners lodge (our apartment) we realized that our life together, from that moment on, was going to be a lot of love, and a lot of poop on the dress. Bring it on.
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